You’ve always had a hard time, in a pastry story, choosing which pastry you’d like this time. You know you’ll like whichever one you choose. But today, do you have more of a desire for something with chocolate, or something like creme caramel, or the triple fruit mousse, or maybe today it will be a mille feuille?
That’s what you feel today, that feeling of being drawn to every single pastry. You’re looking over the table of contents of MOMENTS.
A Tidal Wave with a Typhoon on the Side
Shopping for Dreams
Who is This Person I Call Me?
Who Will Help Me With My Spark?
Heart Breaking Open Wide
I Hold You
You remember standing for ten minutes, unable to choose between the many scrumptious pastries. And then you come to your choice. It’s . . .
Shopping for Dreams
But then you hesitate. That sounds so very tame.
A Tidal Wave with a Typhoon on the Side
That does not sounds tame. You turn to the page.
a tidal wave
with a typhoon on the side
this is not just
some
rollercoaster ridea hurricane
with a cyclone nearby . . .
This is not tame, is not a walk in the park with a very old dog.
But it’s also not too much. No cowering in terror.
I wouldn't miss this
for all the tea in China
for all the diamonds in a mine
seven dreams are unrolling
seven hopes uncoiling
seven years of toilingand now
a tidal wave
with a typhoon
on the sidewouldn't miss it for the world
I am not watching the world go by
You feel the joy, the exuberance, the energy. You can almost feel the sharp wind blowing against you, howling but not as strong as you are.
One thing is for sure, though. The author has never lived through a hurricane, cyclone or typhoon. You haven’t either. But you know that, if you live through any of those, you don’t go:
I wouldn't miss this
for all the tea in China
for all the diamonds in a mine
You don’t even like a howling wind, let alone a hurricane.
Still, you are with the writer, her being caught in something enormous, something maybe meant to defeat her … and winning. You like that.
But the poem doesn’t stop there . . .
THAT WAS THEN
THIS IS NOWonce again
a tidal wave
with a typhoon on the sideonce again
a hurricane
with a cyclone nearbybut this is not a joyride . . .
instead, a tidal wave
of deceit and lies . . .to defeat
to devastate
to lay waste my worldonce again
I don’t stand idly bymy quest
to be part of the turning the tide
You hadn’t expected that.
It feels like . . . worlds colliding - the world of amazing joy - also the world of easy in the morning light, easy at dawn - the world of the warmth within - the world of gentle rain and heavy rain and heavy breezes - and that dangerous outside world which is not a joyride. Instead …
a tidal wave
of deceit and lies . . .to defeat
to devastate
to lay waste my world
You know that tidal wave very well.
That outside world of deceit and lies, that outside world which is not a joyride - you are quiet as you think about it. You’ve probably been spending too much time there. You’d just about forgotten that other world of my own lucky penny and gray morning and comfy as a pillow.
You’re not ready to go back yet, to the outside world of deceit and lies.
Maybe, just this once - like you sometimes go for two pastries - maybe today you will have a second poem. You have such a desire for a bit more of that world you’ve been coming to get to know this past while.
To be continued …
A STORY. 41. SHOPPING FOR DREAMS
https://elsaiselsa.substack.com/p/a-story-41-shopping-for-dreams
A STORY. ALL THE CHAPTERS ... UP TO NOW
https://elsaiselsa.substack.com/p/a-story-table-of-contents-up-to-now
Posted April 24, 2024