A STORY. 27. HEAVY BREEZES

You’ve turned to Heavy Breezes. You’re not up for 11 love poems. But trying one feels about right.

https://elsasemporium.com/heavy-breezes.html

You read slowly. It’s summer …

a book lies beside me
soft cover bent wide open

I look upward
   at the twilight
   at ivy dark
            against a darkened wall

I am waiting
   content   easy
feel you approaching

I am waiting
I know you're coming
   perhaps at a corner
   light red
   engine idling
   groceries on the seat beside you
   you easy
            sure of me

I am waiting
   reading
   or not reading
   idling

https://elsasemporium.com/heavy-breezes.html

You pause. Who are these people, you wonder, who sit in the summer heat, nothing on their mind but love. Not reading, or meditating, or just plain thinking. Not texting or talking on the phone or watching a video.

Of course it could be something unusual, this just sitting and enjoying the waiting.

Still it pulls you, slows you.

I lean back
breathe deeply
gaze at rooftops
   at brick buildings
   fire escapes
I don't want escape

I think of supper
             salad
             strawberries
             you on the balcony
                     beside me
      us side by side
      in bed
      idle
      in the langor
      of the summer's sultry stillness

We're past the crossroads in our loving
    past the doubting
    in steady loving

You pause again. Maybe that’s what’s at the heart of what’s going on:

We're past the crossroads in our loving
    past the doubting
    in steady loving

Maybe they’ve just gotten past those big crossroads. Maybe it’s something new, this feeling of steady loving, knowing deep down they will stay together. Most probably that’s it.

You keep reading.

You come to the end:

I know you're coming
You know I'm waiting
   content   easy

We'll make supper
Love in the nighttime
Love

Heavy breezes
Summer slowness   brings me to dreams

You don’t turn the page to whatever is next. You are quiet.

In a few minutes you come to a question. Has the writer ever experienced anything like what’s on these pages? It feels so real.

Then an even bigger question comes. What about you?

Your mind goes silent again.

It feels like a very long time before you think anything.

And then it’s just one word.

Infatuation. A big word.

Then another word comes. Crush.

Yes, that’s when you’ve had that feeling of feeling very good, very quietly happy, doing nothing. You remember being in a haze, a daze, for hours, days, when you’ve had a crush on your mind.

You haven’t had that kind of happy waiting feeling with settled loving, not long anyway. You have had it when you’ve been … you slow down before you come to the words … kind of in love with someone.

It takes you a while before you put down MOMENTS and go to the cash, where you ask for Heavy Breezes.

The woman finds it for you, holds it, looks at you with her head tilted a little to one side. “If you go to the Cafe one of these days, you might like to listen to I Welcome Love.” You don’t answer right away, then give a little nod and hand her two dollars. She hands you Heavy Breezes.

To be continued …
A STORY. 28. DAYS HAVE PASSED
https://elsaiselsa.substack.com/p/a-story-28-days-have-passed

A STORY. ALL THE CHAPTERS ... UP TO NOW
https://elsaiselsa.substack.com/p/a-story-table-of-contents-up-to-now

Posted April 5, 2024