JOURNEY. 11. HOW TO CONNECT CLOSELY?
I’ve been writing about pots on a stovetop. About one pot, then another. But now I’m leaving the stovetop for a while, and it could be forever.
Something has been on my mind, and I’ve been mulling about, how do I write about it?
This has been on my mind for a long time, years and years even, sometimes very much on my mind, sometimes in the background.
I’ve just been reading a book, Soul Prints: Your Path to Fullfillment. And suddenly, there it was, over and over the author was writing about it, that thing that has been on my mind.
LONELINESS.
Core to Soul Prints:
- we are each unique;
- to live fully, our uniqueness (our soul print) must connect with the uniqueness (the soul print) of others;
- most people live in utter loneliness.
LONELINESS.
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I’ve been moving. Soon I’ll have a new home in another country.
But I’m very aware that we take our “baggage” - our way of being, our way of living - with ourselves. And part of my baggage has been quite a bit of not having nearly as much closeness and community as I’d like.
A decision. To leave behind that baggage.
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There’s something I’ve been doing that has led to a growing strong sense of connection, of closeness. TALK TIME. An hour a week. Talking about our week.
Structured. Each person gets two minutes to talk. Then the others get, all together, two minutes to respond. It can be either: That reminds me, or, What I heard was. Then the next person speaks.
I started the group thee months ago, because I wanted such a group - like-minded people who wanted to connect more with other like-minded people. Like-minded: for instance, pro fact, pro thinking, anti mind control, anti injection, pro curiosity about the world. We don’t focus on ideas, though, or what we see in the world. This is about us, our week.
It’s a small open group with a few core people. Week after week, I can feel - and others also mention - how good it feels, being in this group.
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I know what would be easiest, in this new place, in the new home, would be to let things stay on the idea level and the friendly level with people.
How will this play out?
One thing I’m changing is adding something new to how I am with people. Not with everyone, but with a couple of people I saw as potential friends, I brought up my simple formula - because closeness does not happen, abracadabra. In fact, I brought up the formula to break “conversation paths” which were not bringing closeness.
My experience is that people - including myself - have ways of being with each other that work against closeness. Keeping silent instead of speaking. Talking about ideas. Telling amusing stories about someone famous. Repeating something we know very well. Not being curious about the other person. Talking on and on because that’s what we’re familiar with.
One thing I am very familiar with is nice people being nice - and yet there is no closeness.
In this case, both people were willing to give the formula a try, and it felt good.
We’ll see how things go.
But the big thing: it matters to me, close good connection.
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Coming soon. Whatever happens next.
JOURNEY. ALL THE CHAPTERS ... UP TO NOW
Posted February 3, 2025