JOURNEY. I know where it all started. With ALMOST. "I give in, I give up ... almost." I had no idea where this would lead.
I never had any desire to be a “poet.” Or to write that weird thing called “poetry.” In my mind were images of Emily Dickinson looking frail, and Elizabeth Barrett Browning with
How do I love thee?
Let me count the ways.
And then of course there’s Shakespeare. The bard. Definitely not me.
I know how it all started, writing this strange stuff called “poetry.”.
March 1994.
A friend had talked with me about likely producing a small show for teenagers - their voices, their lives, their hardships and frustrations, their good days and bad.
The next morning I was thinking about that show. The word ALMOST kept going through my mind. Almost giving up. Not giving in. But almost. I heard a kind of rap beat. Not an angry rap beat. More a beat of quiet almost-despair.
That morning I wrote Almost.
It’s a feeling I’ve often had - of being close to giving up, and knowing I won’t. So much trying and doing. So much reaching out.
Lots did get done. I had gotten my PhD just months before writing Almost. A major victory for me. But there was such a tug within me from all the things that had not made it into the world.
______________
Almost was never used. I don’t even remember talking again with my friend about his show. Did it ever happen? Maybe, but I don’t think so. So many things almost happened.
______________
I think there was another piece about a month later.
And then, in May, THE DELUGE. Piece after piece in a flow that went on for years.
______________
But now, back to that first piece.
It fits so much with what’s going on around me.
I’m living - we’re living - in a world where so much is crumbling around us. The crumbling is picking up speed. And we keep going on, picking up what pieces we can, building what we can - getting justice where we can - spreading truth as best as we can - learning as well and as fast as we can while the chemtrails don’t stop and the injection injuries don’t stop and doctors keep losing their licenses for using effective available treatments. Julian Assange has not been freed. I have the sense Reiner will be freed. But there are no guarantees.
I think of To Kill a Mockingbird. From what I remember, a black man falsely accused of rape has been convicted and will be killed despite the best efforts of a good lawyer. We see it all, if I’m remembering right, through the eyes of the lawyer’s daughter.
And now, through my eyes - and the eyes of caring people around me - I see a society where things unimaginable 20 or even 10 years ago are going on all around - from drag queen story hour in kindergartens, to sex change procedures started on early teenagers, to a deluge of incomers throughout the West with ideologies that are against the Western values the West supposedly values, to an ever increasing crime rate, including of sexual crimes.
______________
Almost - that’s about a teenager almost giving up but not giving up.
Now - it’s different and yet in some ways it’s like that teenager who doesn’t know which way to go, would like someone to chart a neat course, and also does not want that - definitely wants things to get better than almost.
______________
I somehow never put Almost online. But not long before the worst of the escalating societal crumbing, I recorded it with a friend and did a lot of work on a video. I didn’t finish the video. It just didn’t feel right. One of the many things that almost got done.
______________
Now I’ve gone back to Almost.
In general, I’m feeling the pull to do more creative stuff. I’m part of the many people on the side of truth and good thinking, taking the actions we can take. As for my creative works, if I don’t pay attention to them, no one will.
What is going on, when I face it, often feels too much. But I know I’m not giving up. Too much is at stake. My world.
I’m also not giving up on my creative works. Again, too much is at stake. My creations are at stake.
______________
And now, here’s that long ago poem:
https://elsas-word-story-image-idea-music-emporium.com/almost-give-up-poem.html
Posted Feb 25, 2024
Elsa, could you please watch the part of the video starting at 6:01:30 min. This man, Cal Washington explains how to win this war. Thank you.
Clear Skies Conference - Day 2
Cal Washington at mark 6:01:30 min
https://streamyard.com/watch/xMWrdX2kvVC5
Cal Washington's website.
https://www.inpowermovement.org/
Words are an interesting study by themselves .. "ALL" .. is 100% .. "MOST" might be 99.99%