When I look back, one thing I see, over and over, is ACTION and then, at some point, HITTING WALLS . . . sometimes stopping, but deep down, determined to continue.
There’s the pain of struggling and struggling, so full of hope, determination, persistence. Sometimes I would be following instructions. This is the way to go. Right this way. This is how to do it. I would build and build.
I have just looked at one huge effort about The Truth Summit, as it was started in 2019. So much was built. It was intended to be a membership site for people who care about good thinking, about getting thinking back into schools.
I have moved on. I had to. I gave up.
I didn’t give up trying. In this case, I just gave up that incarnation of the project.
That’s happened over and over.
And so many hopes, dreams, desires in this huge confusing world. Like the desire to make a difference. The desire to know how to reach people to make a difference.
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My sister has said to me, many times, that I always knew what I wanted to do, no question.
Yes, I knew what I wanted to do. But over and over, I could only get a small part of the way.
I was 12, my sister was 9. I would have loved us to be discovered and become stars. This is the first time I’m telling this story - because even then it wasn’t something I felt I could tell straight out. The grownups would laugh, I was sure of that. But from the movie magazines of my Aunt Flora, I knew how a bunch of stars were discovered. They were wherever it was, and were noticed. So I had my sister and myself sitting out in front of my Aunt Flora’s home. Would anyone driving by be struck by us and discover us?
In other words, I did the right thing - what I had learned was the right thing to do.
No one discovered us.
There were movies I loved. I’m remembering an adventure story with Hayley Mills (one of those stars supposedly accidentally discovered) and Maurice Chevalier. All of these years later I can still remember not only the names but a scene where (if I remember right) the end of a precipice broke off and they careened far down to safety.
What about a movie starring my sister, myself, and her best friend, who was often with us? I wrote the script, carefully and neatly - all the dialogue, every scene. I sewed an envelop for the script, so it would be safe. I remember the name - Young Ladies, Indeed! - about 3 girls who were not young ladies, instead had adventures.
But where to go from there? I lived thousands of miles from Hollywood.
My sister’s friend said someone in her family had a camera, but nothing came of that.
And even with the camera, what could we have done? Things were filmed back then. It would have been Super 8. How to edit? And first, what about the cost of the film? And what to do with the film, even if we had been able to film even a scene?
There were ten thousand steps between the script in its neatly sewn envelop, and the film in my head, entertaining audiences worldwide.
Easy to laugh, I suppose.
The reality. I had a dream, and did what I could. I did not even get close to my dream.
Disappointment. And then putting that dream aside - while the desire behind the dream continued, fueled other projects.
So many dreams.
It wasn’t all failure.
But almost always, there’s been such a gap between the dream and what I was able to accomplish.
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Sometimes a door opened, to another part of the world - or rather, someone opened a door. Like, I was given a form to fill out in high school, and got early acceptance into a top university. Like, 2 years after graduation, my then-partner pointed out that an airline was hiring flight attendants - stewardesses as they were then called. Why didn’t I apply, he asked. I had never considered that this was a possibility. And a couple of years after that, he suggested I apply to an MA grogram. It had not occurred to me. In 2003, I discovered the door of the internet, to reaching a much bigger audience. What a journey.
Still, I got stuck. No longer, like in childhood, with nowhere to go with my movie script. But how to reach a big audience.
And that brings me to the mass of efforts I have made, most falling ever so far short.
Yet I kept going on. And kept seeking guidance. Over and over the guidance did not get me to my goal. There was no Merlin the Magician. No Gandalf the Wise.
And there were the blindnesses inside me. There are many doors I don’t see. But when I see one, I have opened it - like I opened the door to the internet.
Plus there has been help along the way - people who, as much as they could, were on my side.
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And over time, I developed ever more gifts for people - including my route to flourishing - both a model of development, Full Flourishing, and a simple process, ACE - Awareness Caring Engagement.
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One door I discovered was into the whole world of personal development. So many facets. It took decades for me to realize that none of the models of development felt adequate to me. Always something missing.
Slowly, over many years, I developed my own model.
And now I have it for everyone. It’s meant for everyone.
And the task is to go from the pain of having a hard time getting it out into the world to reaching more people, enough people.
One of the worst pains. Not reaching people with a gift.
A story I heard in childhood. The man’s name was Semmelweis. A doctor. He discovered that one needed to disinfect the hands before going from one patient to another, especially from touching an infection to touching a woman giving birth. He could not get the doctors around him to listen. He went mad.
I can relate to that.
Over and over, I have been drawn to telling truths that are denied by the mainstream. Like about good thinking. Like about Islam.
And here, like about what’s needed for full flourishing. Not just feeling our feelings, but accurate perception and good thinking. Not just good close relationships, but good social involvement - which one can’t have, by the way, if one is not perceiving accurately but caught in “narratives” (untruths).
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In the evening I sometimes want to give up.
Around me there is, I have learned, a plot against humanity, a plot from hundreds of years ago, with bloodlines and dangerous injections, with Satanism and billions of people increasingly numbed by the ions from the sky, the injections and other toxins. I have learned of terms like pineal gland - the god gland - and the ways people are being cut from it.
In the morning I know I will not give up, cannot give up. I am one person in a world with billions of humans - almost 8, I believe.
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Most recently, I have had the idea. A Truth Summit. 20 Truth Tellers, each on a different aspect of what is going on. The core focus: WHO. Who are these people? Were they a bit different from childhood on? Or did they step outside the mainstream later on, maybe just recently? What are they like? What has their journey been like? And what message do they have for us?
Beyond that project stands another one. HOW do we break the Elites’ hold on the earth, on billions of us?
Again, no Gandalf the Wise. But perhaps the collective wisdom of the truth tellers. And the conviction that there is a way to remove, bypass, drain the Elites.
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Posted April 27, 2023
Thanks Elsa. Keep on keeping on! You are getting through to more people all the time.
Each person that wakes up will awaked a few more. & so on just like ripples in a pond, spreading further out.
Cheers! 1Love!
Its a BIG job to wake people up because the people that needs to be awaken the most, do not seek help, they don't know that they don't know, they do not seek to be awaken so therefore they will not be listening to any internet message or video or read any books that could enlightened them, they are not willing to see or to hear both sides of the argument, so they avoid to see and to hear anything that could shake their world, we have do admit that the truth is so huge it shakes all your beliefs, white is black and black is white, imagine the ones that got 5 of the lovely juice I don't think they want to hear that they were duped and in the end when I tried so often to provide some info (in the past 2 years) they say: WHY WOULD THEY DO THAT! making you feel a bit stupid. Maybe if we offered food and booze while they could listen to some facts...HIHI... I hear from different sources that more and more people are starting to see the agenda.
I admire that you keep on going! You always bring up interesting facts and I believe you are truthful, even if you wake one person up, that very one might influence other in their circle.
You are very strong and I am sure you will achieve what you set yourself up to!